Monday, April 24, 2006

When & Where The Whistle Blows!

Lately in my life, (though it started with my childhood dreams), I think about the trains I hear on the busy streets of where I live now, and WHERE THE WHISTLE BLOWS that take the people on their different lives and where they are going, and where do they live and what do they think, and what got them to where they are now? How did their life and their times move them to where they are now, and if so different, how so closely related to our own lives, and traumas, and scares, and dreams that made us who we are now, in relationship to them?

With me, WHERE THE WHISTLE BLOWS in the long quite and slumber deep of the train, tells so many stories that we so strive to be able to reach many times in our own lives, yet, we do not, nor give reasons related to our personal lives, as it might be to hurtful. It might personally touch our souls, or make us think about things we are not ready to deal with, such as forgiveness, family lost, children, death and dying, and so many more things that we are not ready for. And the list goes on and on, and dealing also does! If we were on that train of WHEN THE WHISTLE BLOWS! I many times wonder if others think this way and reflect on their lives if the blow of whistle!

I just thought it might be a good thing to write in a blog, as I am sure many others think on this, and I (probably like others) could write a book or short story, (thinking of others lives) and stories they could give on their own pesonal thoughts, concerning this, regardless, on or off a train and humans abound and going somewhere!

WHO were the people on the train that we hear in our near slumber thoughts, or our busy life, or who in thoughts interrupts our hectic day! What is their life like, and why do they feel whatever thoughts of today, and what could they teach us? Would it be important, and would it teach us something important? What about our horrible feelings inside, yet good feelings in place~ could they have reached us? Or we them? Just something to think about! Do you ever think this way?

And WHERE are they going, and where will they lead us in our own thoughts? Where will we lead ourselves in our own thoughts thinking of theirs?

April 23, 2006~Katie

Sunday, April 23, 2006


In My Sisters Garden
Things are planted so well,
Besides the flowers and vegetables
She has so much that she dwells and tells,
Within her life she plants in her special garden, of
Her life, her living, her God, her being!
The stories she could tell, whispered
In her Garden!

In her Garden, are stories that reach us all,
Of heartbreak, and heartache,
And things that touch us all,
Her siblings, her loved ones, her family
Her past, her friends, her love in of all,
So many ways, and stories she tells, the truth is
In her Garden!

Flowers bloom and strength resumes locked
In her garden, that touches her there
And feeds the family, and others as well
In so many ways with her thoughts
That has spoken to so many hearts that will remember the days,
That she expressed her wisdom to others, as well as herself
In her Garden!

From her garden, things of me have bloomed,
Thoughts on my life that she has taught me on,
And things I write in poem and phrase,
Pictured memories I have saved on things taught to me by her,
Of things that bring beauty and love,
Lessons taught to me concerning life,
Whispered in silence from her that touched me
From Her Garden!


I wrote the outline of this poem several days ago, as I took pictures of the few plants that grew in my yard, and thoughts of Delia in consideration of the beauty while I did so, as I would never have even planted them without her encouragement of how wonderful it was to just see them grow, even if they were alone for awhile, or took a year to grow! And this is dedicated to my sister Delia.

Sunday, April 09, 2006

Nursing Home Experience AND NEGLECT!!


Nursing Home Experience~And NEGLECT!

As time goes on since my mothers death, I realize that I need to write down and share the Nursing Home Experience. I do this as away to realize some of my anger, now that I am able to face it, as well as warn and educate others that are or will face putting their parents into a Nursing home.

My mother had a stroke in May of 2003, which left her speechless for awhile, as well as paralyzed on her left side. After her hospital stay, we were encouraged to put her in a Nursing home where they had everyday care for rehabilitation and physical therapy. Reluctantly, we did this. Before her children did so, we search the Internet for hours and days on Nursing home care and the roles we needed to play in this. The Nursing home experience turned out to be horrible regardless, but thankfully, what we learned helped us, as well as her along the way. Also, my sister and I were able to be with her everyday, and stood up for her since she could not stand up or speak for herself.

We were able to visit everyday, but not spend the night, in the first home we had her in. The first morning she was there, I went to see her right away. I got there at 8:30 that morning, and was alarmed to see her in her bed with a cold tray of food sitting in front of her, utensils still wrapped in the napkin. Breakfast was served at 8:00. To say the least, I was angry. Very angry, as we had talked to the staff in detail of her problems, her needs, and the support she needed. From then on, we were there at all her meals, except at the very end of her time there, as she was able to eat with some assistance, and the facility knew if a problem arose, there would be problems with her children. And all and any time away from her, we utilized our research about care concerning her and elder care. One thing we learned was to always date, document, write notes, list the care workers, their names, their shifts, and so much more.

Even with my anger though, (which went on a lot) things never seemed to get better. Our daily journals were filled with pages of what went on with her and her care. One day I came into her room and she was on the floor. They had left her in her wheelchair alone, and she had slipped out of the chair. According to records of when last checked on her, she could have been there a long time. Her leg was scrapped and her nose was bleeding. I was fit to be tied. Again I marched up to the front desk with my anger. Trust me, the front desk was getting real tired of myself and sister Delia, as it seemed all we did was bitch. She could not bitch, so we did. She deserved much better than she got. Then one day, a worker took her to the bathroom, and left her there. She fell off the commode onto the floor. And today I have bad dreams about how long she was on that floor before she was discovered. As it turned out, she fell from her chair two other times. So, we told them that if they were going to leave her in her wheelchair when we were not there, to put her in the day room where the front desk is so she could be watched. As this turned out, they can fall from their chairs right in front of them, as they are not even looking. I came in one time, and a man was already on the floor, and she also had almost slipped out of her chair, in the same room as the front desk.

I know a lot of people reading this are asking "Why did you have her there, why did you not move her elsewhere? What kind of Nursing home was this?" To answer this question, we spent several hours looking at homes and referrals from doctors and others. Sadly, this is a typical nursing home, and this type of problems go on in all nursing homes pretty much, unless you are rich and have care there for the patience (sitters) at all times. The employees are overworked and under paid, and the turnover rate is awful. I have done extensive research on the Internet, and Nursing home problems are extremely high, and reports of Nursing home neglect care is not reported as it should be. And I understand why. Sadly, it is looked at with blind eyes. And the children are so tied up with taking care of an aging parent while still trying to carry on and maintain their own lives and responsibilities.

I recently just found out from a lawyer that you cannot report or sue a Nursing home after the parent has died. I was astounded. It took me a long time to get over the grieving of my mothers death to finally reach the stage of anger to report the problems. And I was doing it for her and other helpless elders. This is a very sad problem and needs to be addressed. So, if any readers are having problems with Nursing home care, take time to make an issue of it. Don't wait until they die. Even with all these problems, my mother did improve some. I really think all the visits from her children, and we never missed a day, as well as the physical therapy helped. She did regain her speech and partial use of her arm and hand. And, in answer to the question of moving her, we did. Another disaster.

My sister and I moved her to an assisted living home. We looked at everything, made visits, talked about programs, told them of her special needs, and her problems. Trust me, it was a total sales pitch with them. All smiles and how well she would do, how great the help was, physical therapy, on and on. The place was very nice. The place was beautiful, and the rooms were like little apartments, and nice things to look at or do. It is funny now, when we look back that all the nice rooms we were shown, such as the sun room, library, TV room, no one was ever in there. We fixed her room up with all her favorite things. We wanted her to feel like she was home here, and that we would visit all the time. Since she was paying for a small apartment pretty much, we were able to spend the night if we wanted. We set up for a laser beam should she start to get out of bed, as there were now no bed rails. We got her a necklace where she could push the button if she needed help to alert them to come right away. After we left that first day of settling her in, we walked thinking things would be OK with her, but there was trepidation in our steps. I can still remember my sister turning to look at me in the car and saying "You are frowning. You are worried about Mom." She was right. I was worried, and as it turned out, I needed to worry. That very first night, Mom wanted a sit up pillow on the other side of the room. She forgot she could not walk, and got up to get the pillow, only to fall. She broke and fractured her pelvic bone in three places. She did alert them with her button on her necklace, but to this day, I have no idea how long it took for them to get to her based of me hitting that button myself several times after that, once she returned from the emergency room.

She did go to the hospital that night, and the doctors said that the way the break was, it could heal, but there was not away to set it. They sent her back to her little apartment. That was the last night that she spent alone there. Delia and I arranged our lives to be with her 24/7 there from then on. Thankfully, we had understanding and caring husbands that understood our shifts with mom. And being there 24/7, we were able to see real problems with this place, and I am sure it is not a monopoly. Since she had to be in bed, and not go to the dining room, we became alarmed. They forgot to feed her. She would have faced total neglect I think, had we not been there to speak up for her. We had to go to the dinning room and ask for her meal many times. We had to remind them that she needed a bath. She would complain that she wet herself and we made her push her button, or we would push it for her. Many times with me, it took over an hour for them to come to her aid. And I paced the floor or went to tell them, she needs help. My sister was able to help when the help she paid so much for did not come. But I was not able to, due to a medical problem of my own, and not being able to lift more than 10 pounds. Now this place hated us, as we stuck up for my mom and made issues of improper care and neglect. And when most care giver employees came to bath her or change her, they moved her as if she did not have broken bones or as if she was not hurting with the moves. It was heartbreaking. And our voices of concern or feelings of how they moved her almost made it worse. They tossed her around like a rag doll as she screamed in pain. And her pain only got worse. We took her back to the hospital for pain management. They put her on all kinds of drugs to help her and told us that she needed her medication when if in pain or prescribed. And sent her back. Meetings were made with the staff again on her condition and her medication. And they were totally ignored. She would be in pain and so we buzzed for her medication. No response. We would buzz again. And again. Finally, my sister or I would go find help, and they would reply they would get to her when they could. Sometimes it would take an hour for her to get pain medication, while she fought the pain. And when she did get it, it was brought into the room almost with anger.

Anger flared with our care and love and looking out for our mother. And their anger flared also. Why theirs did, I am not sure. But, it did. We all came to agree to remove her to my sisters home. She died three weeks later.

And for those that are or will be facing this, as many baby boomers do, I am only trying to make a point of the problems that you will face, or are facing. And it is so sad that our parents, or someone's parents go through such things. How sad that the ones that taught us, raised us, loved us, was someone important, ended up suffering and neglected. I guess I am still speaking up for her, and others in the position she was in, as well as the position we were in. Our position was out of love and respect and treating her that way, and proud that we did. And, one day, each of us that read this, might be in her position also. Who will protect us if we cannot protect ourselves?

Readers, if you are faced with such a problem, make a voice. And document, document, document. Not only for yourselves, but for the victims of Nursing home neglect. They deserve so much better. After all, they are or were our parents, and our stepping stones of our past. Something really needs to be done concerning this. (this was written in 2004)


Thursday, April 06, 2006


In one of my recent blogs called BREAKER~BREAKER, I expressed that I had a lot to write about and had thought about, dealing with hospital experience and blogs where I wanted to comment with open minded thoughts to narrow minded blogs. One of my readers said that they could not wait for me to "tell all" , as they were curious of where this was leading. BY THE WAY reader, thank you for suggesting that I change my title blog to KATIE'S LOGUE. It fits perfect! Sometimes pointing me in the MID dle gets me to the center of my thoughts, and ideas.

Anyway, this is a bit hard to do. Especially since I want to write on so many things, and I have to pick and choose what to write on. After much debate within myself, I decided to write on NARROW MINDED BLOGS that I cannot comment on, (per their personal blogs, as I am not allowed.) So, therefore, I will just comment as much as I can in one night to get the general idea across of what I hope to say and express!

This does call for examples. I wrote a blog concerning MYSPACE on
Child Internet Safety, and the next thing I knew, there was a blog having fits on this subject that I blogged on, as if I did not know what I was talking about, wanting to prove me or anyone wrong that voiced a different opinion on this. I pretty much go on my own personal experience and research to make a point! (Don't get me wrong, the writer did have good ideas concerning a rebuttal, but broken or links hard to find to express her point well left a lot to be desired.) The next thing I read on her personal blog was a link from MySpace on how to keep children safe within the link via SAFE TEENS (direct link from MySpace). Now, it seems to me, if you do not agree, or at least give consideration of what others have to say, do not include a direct link from the MySpace site, as it makes you look like you have NO IDEA of what you are talking about. Kind of like advertising them when you think they are so wrong, and then making them right! Confusing~VERY!!

Not long after this discovery, another blog was written by this same blogger (and daily reader of my blogs) concerning International Library of Photography (where many sites were in question and put on warning pages on her website)
, and included a site I am very familiar with that has some of my own pictures up on one of sites in question of PICTURE.COM. I even have 3 pictures published in their books ( Kitty Nursing Dog and Kitty & Dog In Love and Premature Kitty~2 weeks old ) that you can find in bookstores, but I did not buy the book as I did not want to pay (nor could afford) the expensive price just so I could every now and then say "Hey look, see my picture here?" AND, there does appear to be some pro's and con's with this particular site, and I do not really care, as no money was spent on my behalf, but, this site does use their advertising to get people they publish their pictures on, in hopes they will buy the books. Business at its best, and you do have the choice to become a part of the site, buy or not buy. On this note, I do need to point out that there are many frauds that are used with big businesses such as these, (and not associated directly with) that will try and make a good place look bad or find away to get your hard earned money through fraud and very sneaky ways, using the site. (Think eBay & Paypal, other known sites to understand) As a matter of fact, one of these fraud emails was used in one of my recent blogs concerning Spam, Scam Fraud Theft & Other Internet Horrors, and used as well on one of her warning pages. As far as I am concerned, you must do a lot of research (and I mean a lot, or I do) to know the good from the bad, and understand the relationship to it. I think it very sad, and unfair that many sites that started out with a good idea, found themselves in bad or dim light due to problems that were not even caused by them, but by fraudsters taking advantage of a good thing, that gave them a bad name. (or blogs written about them without adequate and responsible research.)

And I tell you what, I also do not believe in giving links to a place where the entire name of a place in question written about with when you click, it comes up to a article or blog written in derogatory statements about it, or search of finding links of your search, and the site in question does not come up, or you have to look for it in cache. I even did a short blog it this In Thoughts Of What I Research. This behavior I call narrow minded and with lack of research in regards to readers that are trying to read or find the entire story. Copyright questions might even come into concern, especially if the link given with their name is not even available to their site. (I have to give some thanks here, as a lawyer pointed this out to me as well.)

Since I am on a personal role here, lets talk about an article written by a blogger on POD PUBLISHING concerning the SLUSH PILE. POD Publishing - The Slush Pile, by Rose Desrochers. This particular blog was written on how great it is that books are now POD published, yet so many are so poorly written that they need to be slushed. Now, I am thinking, how many of these POD books from LULU, or other sites that are POD published DID she read? And what makes her an expert? And this blog is from one and the same of her other own personal blogs and online articles that encourages people to write no matter what, to continue on with their dream of writing, and to never give up! How the heck does she has a right to say these things in her blog to encourage, then discourage, that some books (posibbly your book might probably belong in the slush pile, according to her considerations). How arrogant and uncaring can this be? Not to mention confusing per her blogs and articles on never give up on writing! For example, interesting read of hers Self Publishing - Pod Publishing . By the way, I am the unmentional blog she is speaking of.

Also, this same blogger wrapper herself up in an Publish America contract without reading their contract well, and for months fought for PA, which actually started flame wars, (only to find out that she, herself was taken) and now only has nothing but bad things to say concerning PA, then she became partners with a site that if she had checked it out in any kind of research, would might have realized it was a bad idea, as there were already known problems with this site, yet took the chance to BE TAKEN, and she was, and now has tons of bad things to say about that problem. She never would have gotten screwed if she had NOT JUMPED the gun!
Or done a little research!

In ending and point I am trying to make, we need to be careful of what we do and what we become involved in on the Internet. And do not believe all you read. And do not believe me either. Research it yourself and find your own way. I ALSO am a published Poet and Writer and Blogger. Whatever you read that I wrote, is published on the Internet. And who knows, it probably belongs in the slush pile. Depends on the reader, I guess!! I could write so much more on this, but I need to shut up before I upset myself. LOL


Wednesday, April 05, 2006

LITERARY ESCAPE Is Back Up & Running!

Several of my dedicated readers know who Devrie is, and she had a wonderful site called LITERARY ESCAPE for several years, but do to come complications, she took the site down for awhile. Well, her site is back up today, and it looks like it will be great fun and a promising place for some R&R time.

Here you can post poems, have your poems and writings critiqued, and critique others, involve yourself in intelligent conversation, and experience a growing role with your writings.

The site is brand new as of today, and to me, I find that exciting, as I can become a part of a site that will grow over time. And, from knowing Devrie, I expect it to grow fast.

If you get the chance, please drop by and visit her site here

Good luck Devrie, and I look forward of being a part of this exciting adventure.


Tuesday, April 04, 2006

BREAKER-BREAKER~What Will Happen Next?

How things can change on an instant moment. Busy doing something you enjoy doing (or have to do, if that is the case), and then BOOM! Like an explosion, your world changes, and everything you were doing, or all your plans are put on hold. Life is a bitch sometimes, ain't it!

If my memory serves me well, the last time I even thought about my blog was a week ago Sunday. I was writing in my journal on things to consider putting in a blog, and also working on eBay, and then the phone call came. BREAKER - BREAKER, needed at the emergency room, problem with your son! My son will be 25 in a few days, but he is still my son, and I was needed to hold his hand. (I remember holding it so well that night, and memories I felt of the comfort of his warmth in the palm of his hand when he was so young and little.) He was running a fever, so cold, and threw up blood, and I have to admit the emergency room attendants were wonderful and so caring. He was released that night, and we took him to his apartment, and when I got home, the bed looked so inviting. I slept or piddled around most of the next day in confusion. Tuesday would be a new day, and a new start. So to speak.

Wednesday was to be our best day. I mean we had a list of things we needed to get done and goals for that day. And we were well on our way, and very ambitious of what we were doing until about 2 that afternoon, and then ~BREAKER-BREAKER, another emergency call. My youngest daughter who just turned 21 (and very independent in her own way) was rushed into emergency surgery for a staph infection on her hand (Think Rosie O'Donnel). This was extremely serious, and could have been deadly. She was very sick, and she just got out of the hospital the other day. The infection was so bad that they had to slice her hand in 4 places. Split the thumb, split the top of her hand, and split in 2 places underneath two of her fingers. This infection started only 2 days before she had to have surgery. (I intend to write a blog on this at a near future date on this infection, and hospital care and drugs when I get a chance to breath again.)

Anyway, for those that think I have had nothing to say, OH, think again, and I hope that no more BREAKER-BREAKER comes into effect before I get the chance. This entire week has give me many things to think and write on.

By the way, I have been reading the blogs when time allows, especially on my reading list, and I will comment soon, and think they are great. Also, will be writing on blogs that I want to comment on, (but can't on the blogs I want to, as they will not allow the comments to go through) , but want to and will voice an open minded opinion on narrow minded blogs, per my blogs.