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Sunday, August 19, 2007

A Charmed Life! Could "IF" have changed it?

To understand this blog more, I suggest that you read the blog below it where I blogged about my 23rd year wedding Anniversary. Things did not go as planned. And for several hours of that day, I felt horrible guilt.

To make a long story short, my daughter and her friend were in a terrible accident yesterday. An unexpected storm hit and due to the amount of unexpected rainfall in such a short period, the truck they were in hydroplaned, and after flipping twice, they landed 200 feet from the road. Almost all the glass in the truck shattered and could be found several feet from impact, as well as in the hair of these young girls. The accident was so bad that it pushed the driver side tires completely under the vehicle, and the top of the truck looked like a bomb went off. Why had they left the comforts of their home? The answer was to bring a nice bottle of wine to us as a gift to celebrate our 23rd milestone Anniversary. The amazing thing is that they survived the accident without a hospital stay, and very lucky to be in a comfortable home bed. If anyone looked at the truck, total amazement would be in their eyes that they even survived.

If you are a regular reader of my blog, you would have noticed that I seldom talk about personal things in my life. I have broken this chain, at least for now concerning this blog, as I think it is important that what I have reflected upon will be understood conerning my feelings, as well as maybe some comfort to others. My first selfish thoughts were that our Anniversary had gone bad. Then my thinking changed on that, after I was able to settle down somewhat, so to speak.

My thoughts now are that this is a wonderful Anniversary. Why would I hope for more. We could be spending it on preparations of a funeral, or constant sitting at the hospital hoping for the best if a serious life threatening issue called us to our daughters hospital bedside.

My husband always uses the words of "We live a charmed life", which many times I have argued as things seemed not to work out in my life plans. Tonight he reminded me that even if we make plans, we are just lucky if they turned out to be the plans we made. And what "if" always makes a mark on all lives, and not just ours. History proves that. With these words of wisdom I seem to understand, or at least try to, what life delivers us in a different light. For example, our daughter involved in the accident was adopted by us when she was three days old. What IF we had not moved to our small apartment while single and then got married. What IF we had not meet the neighbors and they told us that the girl across the street was due in one week and was giving the baby up? What IF we had not gone over there and convinced her to give us the baby? What IF the baby now 22 years old had died or was seriously injured? Would not the what IF of our adopting her years ago brought more what IFs? What IF we did not have the chance to be thankful for all concerning her? What IF she never entered our life? She did, be thankful for that and thankful you can see her first thing in the morning. What IF did not happen, but life reality did.

What IF World War Two had never happened? For that matter, any wars? What IF Ann Frank had not died, and the world had not been able to read her diary? What IF that did not happen, or for that matter Martin Luther King, and so much more in history that teaches us to live and grow upon?

According to my husband, he and I have lived a very charmed life and have been very blessed, as the what IF's that have touched our souls have not been so bad, especially compared to others that have suffered so much more than us.

After all his words, I agree, especially today that our what IF'S have been a charmed life, and I have no reason to think other wise, but to only be thankful of the IF's among our life. And I am hoping that if the IF's follow a blow much harder for me to handle, that I can reflect back on his words and carry on. I am sure he is counting on me to do so. These are true Thoughts and Considerations of mine. I started to write a poem concerning my daughter of what my feelings are, and I was only able to write three lines. While the three lines are not complete, they say so much to me, and I am sure once my stability returns that I will complete this poem.

Your tears melt into mine and I taste the salt of both.
It somehow taste familiar, I guess that is what love does.
Why am I so lucky in holding you in my arms and heart?
Considered by yngathrrt at 2:19 AM|Links to this post | 3 thought(s)

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comments for A Charmed Life! Could "IF" have changed it?
Oh wow. I just came across your blog and I just cannot believe it. There was a guardian angel looking down upon these wonderful young girls yesterday. You must never feel guilt, it was not you that sent the girls out.
I am so happy they are ok. You must've been devastated and to have all of those emotions running through your head at the moment was not selfish but perfectly normal. You were in shock. It is all part of the human nature to go thru that. It is part of the healing process to move through. To write poetry as you did is wonderful. A beautiful way to express emotion. I love the first 3 lines and I hope to see it completed. I will add your blog to my blog list so I may hope to see it done one day.
Keep strong and it's ok to feel the way you do and it's ok to write about it. It's a way to cleanse your soul, it truly will make you feel better. Trust me, I know.

Michele,

Thank you so much for the wonderful and sweet comment. You have no idea how much it meant to me, and your words really touched me. And also thank you so much for adding me to your blog roll. I have noticed that I have had people visit through your blog. I looked at all your blogs and they are BEAUTIFUL. I also noticed that you have someone on your blog roll that I also have. "A Place I Call Home." I love her blog. I can't wait to find time to go back and read your fishing blog more. Both my husband and I love to fish.

I was so impressed with your blogs, and I am going to write a blog about your blogs and add them to my blog roll also.

Thank you again for your words and kindness, and opportunity to get to know you through your blogs.

Katie

Hi Katie,

So I wrote this long email to you about this but, duh me, sent it to the wrong address. Long story short sometimes bad things happen in order to make room for the good things to happen. Crystal is the perfect example. If her mother hadn't gotten pregnant unexpectedly then you would not have gotten the opportunity to adopt her. Hopefully this accident will teach her the value of wearing seat belts among other things.

Don't feel guilty for what happened. You are not responsible. It was just unfortunate meeting of time, place and circumstance. The thing is that it could've happened to anyone that night. It just so happens that it was them.

That poem is beautiful and I can't wait until you finish it either.

Hugs :)

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