To understand this blog more, I suggest that you read the blog below it where I blogged about my 23rd year wedding Anniversary. Things did not go as planned. And for several hours of that day, I felt horrible guilt.
To make a long story short, my daughter and her friend were in a terrible accident yesterday. An unexpected storm hit and due to the amount of unexpected rainfall in such a short period, the truck they were in hydroplaned, and after flipping twice, they landed 200 feet from the road. Almost all the glass in the truck shattered and could be found several feet from impact, as well as in the hair of these young girls. The accident was so bad that it pushed the driver side tires completely under the vehicle, and the top of the truck looked like a bomb went off. Why had they left the comforts of their home? The answer was to bring a nice bottle of wine to us as a gift to celebrate our 23rd milestone Anniversary. The amazing thing is that they survived the accident without a hospital stay, and very lucky to be in a comfortable home bed. If anyone looked at the truck, total amazement would be in their eyes that they even survived.
If you are a regular reader of my blog, you would have noticed that I seldom talk about personal things in my life. I have broken this chain, at least for now concerning this blog, as I think it is important that what I have reflected upon will be understood conerning my feelings, as well as maybe some comfort to others. My first selfish thoughts were that our Anniversary had gone bad. Then my thinking changed on that, after I was able to settle down somewhat, so to speak.
My thoughts now are that this is a wonderful Anniversary. Why would I hope for more. We could be spending it on preparations of a funeral, or constant sitting at the hospital hoping for the best if a serious life threatening issue called us to our daughters hospital bedside.
My husband always uses the words of "We live a charmed life", which many times I have argued as things seemed not to work out in my life plans. Tonight he reminded me that even if we make plans, we are just lucky if they turned out to be the plans we made. And what "if" always makes a mark on all lives, and not just ours. History proves that. With these words of wisdom I seem to understand, or at least try to, what life delivers us in a different light. For example, our daughter involved in the accident was adopted by us when she was three days old. What IF we had not moved to our small apartment while single and then got married. What IF we had not meet the neighbors and they told us that the girl across the street was due in one week and was giving the baby up? What IF we had not gone over there and convinced her to give us the baby? What IF the baby now 22 years old had died or was seriously injured? Would not the what IF of our adopting her years ago brought more what IFs? What IF we did not have the chance to be thankful for all concerning her? What IF she never entered our life? She did, be thankful for that and thankful you can see her first thing in the morning. What IF did not happen, but life reality did.
What IF World War Two had never happened? For that matter, any wars? What IF Ann Frank had not died, and the world had not been able to read her diary? What IF that did not happen, or for that matter Martin Luther King, and so much more in history that teaches us to live and grow upon?
According to my husband, he and I have lived a very charmed life and have been very blessed, as the what IF's that have touched our souls have not been so bad, especially compared to others that have suffered so much more than us.
After all his words, I agree, especially today that our what IF'S have been a charmed life, and I have no reason to think other wise, but to only be thankful of the IF's among our life. And I am hoping that if the IF's follow a blow much harder for me to handle, that I can reflect back on his words and carry on. I am sure he is counting on me to do so. These are true Thoughts and Considerations of mine. I started to write a poem concerning my daughter of what my feelings are, and I was only able to write three lines. While the three lines are not complete, they say so much to me, and I am sure once my stability returns that I will complete this poem.
Your tears melt into mine and I taste the salt of both.
It somehow taste familiar, I guess that is what love does.
Why am I so lucky in holding you in my arms and heart?