ss_blog_claim=2f8eeb9437aec49abe2d2711d2db0785
Sunday, February 19, 2006

TROLLS, FLAME WARS & CYBERSTALKERS

TROLLS, FLAME WARS & CYBERSTALKERS
(SCARY STUFF!!)

I am totally amazed at how many flame wars are created and found on the Internet, not to mention trolls and cyberstalkers, that the Internet superhighway finds lurking in forums and chat rooms safely behind their computers. The age of the Internet is so available now, that people no longer have to "walk their fingers through the yellow pages" as they can now "walk their fingers, via keyboard, through the world." Heck, I never use the phone book anymore. If I need a number, to me it is easier to just get it off the Internet!

I accidentally fell across Internet flame wars, trolls and cyberstalkers just over a year ago, and it was pretty scary just to see it, but it sadly, was also entertaining, and it really peeked my interest. The sad thing is that the majority of these problems could have been avoided (well, at least to a degree) but trolls like to eat a lot, and Cyber space is a great place for them to find GOATS to feed on. Actually, on the Internet, they feed like vampires, needing to hurt others for their blood in order for them to survive in their world.

Before I go any further, I am going to give links (and there are many other great links, but I identified best with these) where I have taken a great deal of time of research to explain why I continue on with this BLOG! While it might be easier for me to just copy and paste what I would like to most point out, I have not gotten the permission from the people who wrote the articles and it might be in copyright violation if I did this. Also, these articles are quite good and could possibly help a lot of people to read it in its entirety as well as check the links. (It is OK to skip this and come back and read after my long, LONG blog.

CYBERSTALKING ~EXCELLENT LINK ON ONLINE CYBERSTALKING.

Concerning INTERNET ONLINE TROLLS, there are several great articles on this. I have added just 2, and it does take some time reading.
INTERNET TROLLS~WIKIPEDIA
INTERNET TROLLS by TIMOTHY CAMPBELL

BTW, I am not familiar personally with all the troll types, pretty much just the ATTENTION SEEKING TROLL. To me, these are the saddest, and in great need of mental health. They are the ones that from what I read (and seems so from what I have seen), that do not understand what NO means, no matter how you spell it. They are the ones that get banned from almost any forum board, and the ones before they get banned, flooded the forum boards with new topics (which most are never even replied to.) They are always the ones that start FLAME WARS with individuals and groups to prove they are superior, while most of the time (but not always) they are not well educated, not well spoken and in general, do not get along well with people if confronted. Yet, at the same time, they try to prove themselves as a hero and a wonderful person. They many times hide behind different screen names, especially if banned or found out in their way of intent to harm others. These TROLLS sadly have a way of bringing (or trying to bring) others down to their levels, making them the victims the wrong ones. And when these people finally figure out they are wrong in playing the game, it is almost to late, and possibly their careers, relationships, good name online and so much more is close to being destroyed. This happens to so many people and in so many ways, causing great grief, loss of sleep, and mental problems for themselves.

OK, OK, I will get to the point of why I wrote this. Is there a point here? Anywhere? There is, and it is my story. A true story at that, but after a great deal of thought and consideration, I have decided to leave all character names out (or change them) concerning this story, even though I would like to mention them, but I need to be fair. (plus, I do not want to get in trouble for this, and at this point, not entirely clear of the law should I mention names.) With this said, I have not mentioned certain names, but for the ones I do, so the story can be followed better, the names have been changed for the story to help confusion.

The poetry site I belonged to I renamed, hereinafter, all per colors, TODAY AND HOPES FOR TOMORROW.
TODAY AND HOPES FOR TOMORROW OWNER (Administrator)~
SCARLET
TODAY AND HOPES FOR TOMORROW OWNER'S SPOUSE~TECHMAN

TECHMANS PERSONAL SITE~TEACHING TECH MAN
FLAME WAR POETRY SITE IN QUESTION~ONE DAY AT A TIME
FLAME WAR NAMES (spouse and husband)~DEBONAIRE & JETHRO

In the year of August 2003, my mother died, and when my husband and I cleaned out her shed, we came across all her writings (she was a retired English, Professional Writing and Literature Professor) and I embarked on a quest of sharing her works with the Internet. In 2004, I joined Authors Den with 2 memberships, one being for my mother, and one for myself where I could put down writings of mine and my husbands dealing with poetry and short stories. To me, Authors Den is a wonderful place, but it is a paid membership site, and in Dec. of 2004, the memberships came up for renewal, and we were financially strapped at that time, so I started to search for a poetry site where I could place my mothers poems and mine as well, and one that was free. I came across a site to me that seemed perfect and I joined, and for the short time I was there, I was happy and meet many great people, and the Administrator and owner, SCARLET seemed very nice and caring. The site, TODAY AND HOPES FOR TOMORROW, was pretty much user friendly and after awhile, very easy to navigate. They had forums that were pretty close to chat rooms. I generally do not get involved in forums, except basically to read what is going on, but was contacted several times to participate in the rooms, so I decided to give it a shot. In one of the forums was a great deal of talk about another poetry site, ONE DAY AT A TIME, (a wife and husband team, herein after called DEBIONARE and JETHRO) and how awful they were to TODAY AND HOPES FOR TOMORROW. I even made several post on this myself, concerning this, of how awful this was for ONE DAY AT A TIME to treat TODAY AND HOPES FOR TOMORROW this way. But, after awhile in these forums, I started to get concerned, as there is always two sides to one story. (Or, at least I was taught this all my life.) Therefore, I decided to research this to get the full story. WHOAAAAAAAAAA - My concern turned to alarm!! Not just only on the individuals of Debionare and Jethro their site in question of ONE DAY AT A TIME, but on other things as well. It turned out that SCARLET, the Administrator of TODAY AND HOPES FOR TOMORROW, was in FLAME WARS all over the Internet. Flame wars in writing communities, businesses, etc. It was SCARRRRY!!!!! How could one person, Administrator anger so many sites? What KIND of business was this?

This concerned me for days, and I was in a quandary of what to do, as I was happy at TODAY AND HOPES FOR TOMORROW and had met so many nice people, but my concern was my Mothers poems being on a site with a battle going on with so many others. My family KNEW I was putting her poems on the Internet, but would have a FIT if they were on a site that was getting a lot of attention through flame wars, and this bothered me also. I knew in my heart that she would not have wanted her works there, but only in a positive place. I finally decided to go in to TODAY AND HOPES FOR TOMORROW, which I knew I would miss, and copy and paste all my Mothers works (especially since they had so many comments and such wonderful reviews) and then write SCARLET, the Administrator a kind letter that I needed my Mothers works removed and why. But that I wanted to stay myself. (BTW, I sent this letter to several people that I had met on the site, asking for advise if they thought it was fair, and what did I need to change or regroup.) In return, I got a hateful email to go remove them myself and that my Mother was rolling over in the grave due to her disappointment in me. (My mom was cremated per her wishes, so that was not an issue. Plus the fact that my Mother would have expected me to do just as I did) So, I went in to remove them myself, only to find out I was BANNED, and could not get in. Now, how in the heck am I going to remove them? Now, I want to make one thing CLEAR, I never, ever thought that SCARLET, the Administrator would use her poems, steal her poems, or advertise her poems, but I was concerned that I could not get to them anymore. Thankfully, I had (and still have) several good friends that I met there, that went in and checked for me and informed me until they all were removed. These friends are no longer there, and I guess I am to blame for that.

Well, if the truth be known, I was pretty hurt, not to mention angry from all the hateful emails I got from the SCARLET. And honestly, I missed TODAY AND HOPES FOR TOMORROW and the people I grew to know, and cared for and identified with, and the ability to be a part of a group that I was comfortable with. As it turned out, someone, and I do not know who, paid for a lifetime membership on Authors Den for my Mother, so her works are still there.

After awhile, I pretty much got over my hurt, but just became curious in this debacle going on with TODAY AND HOPES FOR TOMORROW, and other problems strung across the super highway called the INTERNET!! It was kind of like SOAP OPERA fun!! What will happen next? And the more I researched and read, the more I thought "Wow, this is actually very interesting, and would be a great project, possibly a book idea!" There is just so much CRAP (sorry I could not find a better word) on this subject all over the INTERNET, so I started copying and pasting everything I could find (as I knew it would be deleted soon, as Administrators in forums would get tired of it, due to slander and laws that actually allowed it to go on, where they might actually find themselves in trouble) and still continue to copy and paste, as the saga is still not over. I have an excellent journal, one I bought and paid for, and allows me many member names, which is excellent so that I can organize better, and am able to name this journal name appropriately. With the journal, I am able to put all I have in the dates they belong to, as well as all my email correspondence from other prior members, and their correspondence and hate letters from SCARLET. I love organization, don't you?

As it turned out, around the month of March 2005, things seemed to settle down with the SCARLET and her site TODAY AND HOPES OF TOMORROW with other sites, especially since banned from the majority of writing communities, therefore the flame wars had stopped with them. Also, it seemed that things had settled down and progress was made with ONE DAY AT A TIME and TODAY AND HOPES OF TOMORROW. This was actually good for me as I had not organized the hundreds upon hundreds of files I already had on hand, and maybe it was just a project to put on the back burner for awhile anyway. Other things were going on in my life.

I think it was early October 2005 that I found myself bored one day and to ease the boredom, decided if there was anything new on SCARLET and her site. Yes, indeed, new things were going on with new people on their blogs. (not the poetry sites flame wars, but brand new other things). New pissed off people, and I mean PISSED. One lead to another. It was exciting. I knew there was a book in this somewhere. My new ambition of "Stripped From The Internet" was again rekindled. So, my new research began, once again. I had to remind myself to look every now and then again for new material on this delicate, but needed subject.

My life became very busy, and once again neglected the project until after the new year. I started the research again, and then actually BECAME PISSED. I fell onto another blog, and even replied to it. I just could not help myself. But this particular blog directed me to other things that I had no idea on, leading me back to original research, and research to come. It seems the original reason I left TODAY AND HOPES FOR TOMORROW due to comments on ONE DAY AT A TIME, had started ALL OVER again, and this time, it was unfair. VERY!!!

Following links to the sites of the last blog I read, lead me to things I had never seen before. Two categories flaming ONE DAY AT A TIME, by the spouse of SCARLET, herein after named TECHMAN, within his personal site of TEACHING TECH MAN were pages and pages and PAGES to view, open to the public and Internet, but the ones being (ONE DAY AT A TIME) flamed were not able to respond or rebuttal in their own defense. Warnings were put on TODAY AND HOPES FOR TOMORROW poetry site concerning ONE DAY AT A TIME and Debionare and Jethro, their business, their work ethics, where they worked, etc. and outright lies (I know this, as like I said earlier, I copied and pasted EVERYTHING I could find and am still not done), as well as many others, and as far as I am concerned were wrong also, and had NOTHING TO DO with a writing community, but needed to be address, but not in the PUBLIC of the INTERNET!!!. It was totally evident to ME that SCARLET, TODAY AND HOPES FOR TOMORROW and TECHMAN and TEACHING TECHMAN were OUT to destroy these people, and it was over something so stupid that escalated into something very BIG and destructive. This fisaco was worse than making a mountain over a mole hill. It started pretty much over a BLINK, (pun on words)

Now readers, do not get me wrong. In the beginning early flame war between these two sites, they all were wrong, and said many, MANY things that should not have been said to each other, via forums and emails, were said. They were awful, libel, slanderous, bringing in family matters, children, and extremely hurtful, and destructive. Sadly, that is the nature of the beast that we call ourselves human, as we are animals, and if we are backed against a wall, sometimes we forget how to bite, except with our teeth, which is now sometimes why we are toothless, as we lost them in a bitter fight. (and this makes it hard to chew at times) Regardless, now the name calling on TODAY AND HOPES FOR TOMORROW, I was on, is now very unfair, not to mention very destructive, and nothing but a bashing forum for them and their bullies, and it does NOT give ONE DAY AT A TIME, a chance to defend themselves. But, they are trying to in so many ways, especially Debionare, and as far as I can see, from what I have read (and am still reading to give the benefit of the the doubt). It takes a big person to have to give some of their pride away, and try to stop the damage done, and to admit that they were part of the problem, especially in publice (and trust me, you cannot get anymore public than the Internet. As far as I can see, Debionare has always tried to smooth the rocking waters that rocks her life, and her family life. Debionare and Jethro now have to place their own blogs to their writings concerning their defense, and try to do so without being unfair, uncaring, and saving what they love most, ( and even invite ONE DAY AT A TIME, to respond) even though they do not have the chance or opportunity themselves to respond, or rebuttal to what TECHMAN, TEACHING TECHMAN, TODAY AND HOPES FOR TOMORROW and SCARLET write) Debionare and Jethro are calling for a moderator, as in between, hoping for anything to help resolve this destructive war. And it is not working, but they are trying so hard from what I can read!! And what is so funny, (sorry, sad) is that TODAY AND HOPES FOR TOMORROW AND TEACHING TECH MAN is using their words of Debonaire that is trying to end this battle as displaced thoughts and ploys and as if Debonaire and Jethro are stalking material. As hard as Debionare tries, they just go OVER Scarlets head. GET REAL. This is what angers me. IS THERE NO END?

Scarlet, in everything she puts a signature to, always includes that she is a published Author, (and she is, and but who she is published by is an ongoing battle concerning this publishing company. She even admits this herself now! ) Trust me folks, anyone that can be published by this company (again I refrain, while gritting my teeth of who they are), anyone can be published by. (I have had to beg them to LEAVE ME ALONE, with this particular publishing company.) She also claims to be a WEB COLUMINIST (not sure what that really means. More research on that needs to be done) But, she has written several articles, and some are actually good, and would be nice, REALLY NICE, and informative, if she would just PRACTICE what she preaches!!

I wrote this BLOG for several reasons. To alert readers of the absolute HORRORS that can happen with flame wars that start over something so silly, and stupid, an escalate. I wrote this to point out, how destructive this can be, and to give insight of things that can and will happen if you become part of the game. And the end, it is no longer a game, not a winning one at least. Not if you weight the outcome, and are a gambler.

I think SCARLET now knows that I am BROWSER, (and I now KNOW to never, ever hide behind who I am again) and there is really a book in the works. Names and things will be changed to protect the innocent (to include myself) but also to show and help others realize how destructive this is. A subject this important will take a great deal of time to complete, and I have to be careful about law (thank you, and you know who you are, for pointing this out to me) as I have to be careful for myself.

I do want to make clear that this is a VERY important subject. And one that clearly needs to be written on. AND explored, as YOU can be NEXT!!!

Also, I want to make comments to Jethro and Debionare. I personally understand that you both have a right to defend, or want to defend, especially now. I also think that you are WASTING your breath, but I understand your breath. I have done hours and hours of research on this, and you just need to let go, or try to. I have research you, have found that you are not banned anywhere that I can find, or if so is not important. You both are VERY intelligent, and have tried and TRIED to stop this. On the same token, I cannot blame you for trying harder when you are placed against a wall, especailly when it comes down to wanting others to understand. I wish you the best in this terrible TRAUMA!!

SCARLET, on the other FLIP SIDE of the coin, it might be to your benefit to just stop. You are a troll, you have flooded the forums for attention, you have been banned almost everywhere you go, and you put your foot into your mouth each time you say anything. You really need to give this up, as it is not worth it. You have a good thing going with your site, and you really need to keep it there. You still have a chance, think of your members.

I guess I am done now. I have much more research to do, and it does not just claim this story. This is a very important and needed article, at least in my heart. I am looking for more material.
By the way, comments are allowed if respectful. I can and will choose what is written and responded to and why I allow it to go, or not, and I will promise to send you an email if I do not use your comments and the reasons why. All response deserve this.
My poem written on this and surprised of how it really meets what I think!

KISS

Kiss~Keep it simple stupid
And all that you do
Remember words you want to tell
But actions will better tell, and tail
Of Keep it Simple

KISS, as we do our children
And our lives as well
KISS your words and works
Of what you are trying to tell.

A Kiss is but a kiss
Listen well, with your hearts
And those you tell
To include yourselves.

Life is a rough road
Kiss the dirt on your way
Remember while you do
Sometimes the taste is bitter; consider the stay.

Was it worth it, this KISS?
Was it worth the blow of somewhere else?
Was it worth the the regret
Of not placing the KISS where or needed felt?

KISS, and when you do
Be careful who you blow the KISS to
And include yourself as well
As KISSES have a way of backfiring.

Written by Katie Fairchild
Jan. 25, 2005

Considered by yngathrrt at 5:09 PM|Links to this post | 4 thought(s)

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comments for TROLLS, FLAME WARS & CYBERSTALKERS
I am very familiar with the story you tell here, as you know ( it seems a lot has been happening in the year since I left it all behind ), and find your essay to be an interesting, and informative one, that should encourage anyone that has found themselves a victim of, or is just curious about, these types of issues, to learn more.

Being a poet, and creative writer, I'd like to encourage folks to visit my Blog archives ( See link in my name ) for exercises in writing, and links to websites, from the merely good, and somewhat useful, to the absolutely MUST Bookmark.

It is such a sad thing that's happening. I've been fortunate to have had very little dealing with her on a personal level, but a friend of mine had been, um, tangled in the thorns and came away furious. She had actually signed up on the site in question, followed all the rules, and was removed for reasons unknown.

I keep hoping this will all go away, but as long as the flames are fanned, scarlet will have her "fame." (hm, looks like I've joined the flame-fanning brigade...oops!)

You mentioned that she calls herself a "web columnist." That's absolutely hilarious! How special can it be when every blogger out there is a web columnist! Too funny!

I'll be interested in seeing the book when it's available.

Take care.

Ms. Karen

Hi Kiril, Thank you so much for your comment, and I see that you have already driven traffic here. Thank you for that. BTW, all who see this, needs to visit SNEAKEASY JOINT. Excellent site.

I hope to do a great deal to improve my blog, but I am so new to this, and like a baby, you have to learn to crawl before you walk. I want to put several links in my blog, for example, one for Kiril.

ms. Karen, Thank you for your comment. I have seen all the boards, so I somewhat know you from there. I just never joined in. (Just read a lot. LOL)

I wrote this blog as I felt it a very important subject, and needs to be addressed a great deal.

Anyway, thank you for your comments.

Katie

Hey, Katie! Good blog... One thing I like to do is go back through something I've written and catch the grammer mistakes...just to keep it clean and free from critical "eyes" who are apt to point them out. But blogging is not essaying per se...so it reads as though someone is putting down thoughts as they come. Anyway, I too have been the victim of said person's flame throwing, and I was pretty naive about all this until my encounter w/her madness. Scarry is a mild adjective!!! Ites!!! My experience was bizzare (sp)? to say the least. Just glad I didn't enter in...got out whilst I had only first degree burns!! ; }
I so hope you get this book written!!! Am behind ya 100%...

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