tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10384554.post114733762943943776..comments2021-12-29T02:25:08.440-08:00Comments on Thoughts And Considerations: The Journey Of A Mother~yngathrrthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15297858893586317126noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10384554.post-62604057626823091712011-03-18T01:21:10.924-07:002011-03-18T01:21:10.924-07:00I woke up in the middle of the night, unable to br...I woke up in the middle of the night, unable to breath, oh no a panic attack? What is wrong with me? I know what is wrong with me; I am the mother of a homeless man. Yes me, the successful business woman, I am the mother of homeless man… Oh my god, how did that happen? My baby, my beautiful baby boy, the treasure and joy of our lives. What went wrong, where did you go? Are you mentally dead? Did the drugs take you away years ago? Not my son, not the boy I watched grow up. The boy who wanted a suit and brief case for his 8th birthday. Did the drugs kill you; did I kill you by not getting you the help you needed? The pain … the pain is so terrible, they say the worst pain is to lose a child, to grieve a death of your child is not supposed to happen. Please understand the worse grief is to lose a living child, someone on this earth, a good soul under all the filth and drugs. You don’t know what to do.. Should I help him, should I grieve him, like he is dead? Is he dead, when you don’t hear from him for weeks, you wonder if he is a “John Doe” in the morgue. Do you keep hope? How do you keep hope? Now that the pain is out, can you put it back, can you bottle it up again and hide it behind your “successful life”. Can you move forward by not talking about him, erasing him from your memory? Oh God, how terrible it is to erase your baby from memory, does that make me a monster or a survivor. If he was dead, it would be ok to grieve, to cry your eyes out night after night. But I don’t know! I try to control the pain – I don’t know how, what is next for the mother of bum!! Let it out, release the volcano and then go back to bed. No one can hear me crying, sobbing out of control. Never forgiving myself for not doing better. God gave me a challenge and I passed it up for a career, to make myself feel special, to have money after all, you have to have money and notoriety to be happy. Don’t you? Isn’t that why we give our souls to “get ahead” in life? Warp thinking is what has happened, how I help others realize the importance of life and most of all the importance of love. Listen to someone who is in so much pain she can’t pull herself out to appreciate the gifts she is given. What do you need in life –Family, a roof, a simple home, food, education and most of all love and respect for everyone! Including the homeless man or woman on the side of the road. That is someone’s baby…Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10384554.post-7236523376969986422009-01-15T09:07:00.000-08:002009-01-15T09:07:00.000-08:00This is truly a wonderful poem and I really say's ...This is truly a wonderful poem and I really say's it all.<BR/><BR/>SharonAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com